Finding a Great Guy Ain't Easy!

[sarah miller]

I have been single for 3 years and never thought I would have such a difficult time finding a nice guy. I do admit that I expect it all: success, looks, intelligence, and integrity. Is that asking too much?? I have seen everything else until recently. I have met lots of pretty packages with very little substance deep down!!!
The first guy that I dated after my divorce rocked my world. I truly understand that expression after the very emotionally charged year I spent getting to know this individual. He preyed on me through the internet and I slowly discovered that he was self admitted sex addict and alcoholic.

One of my most recent was married and an alcoholic. Yes, I dated a married man but to my defense was totally unaware. He even fudged his divorce documents with the help of his wife to mislead me! How crazy is that?? The story gets much more interesting than that but I will save it for a future post.

The next guy that I dated was also successful and attractive and an alcoholic. In his dating profile he stated he was a "social drinker". He didn't exactly lie about that. He was social and most certainly was a drinker.

Ok, I will admit that I have finally met a great guy. Now, my track record is not exactly as we say squeaky clean so only time will tell. I do think that I am smarter, more mature and alert to all the deviant traits of dating today!

[Barbara Siragusa]

Sarah, you know there is someone out there for you. I have already gone through 2 marriages, thinking that I would never find someone good and kind. Through this medium I found Sam, and he is everything I ever wanted or hoped for. There is someone out there....and maybe you should just be thankful this cut happened now instead of a time when you might have moved for him, changed your life for him. Saying all this, I know you still hurt, and I am so sorry......

[sarah miller]

Hi Barbara! I think it is unfair. I told him that there are two people involved in this ...not just him. He emailed me and told me he was on business and was supposed to call me last night and have not heard from him. Will not contact him again. Very hard because he really seemed perfect for me and cannot fathom trying to get to know anyone again.
Thanks for you kind words!

[Barbara Siragusa]

Sorry Sarah. If he isn't giving it any closure, then perhaps he is confused, worried about the long distance thing, having children there etc. If he is worth keeping, then perhaps it is worth keeping communication open at least. If not, though it is hard, our hearts eventually mend...

[Penny]

Sarah.. I hope i didnt jinx you.. Men are so afraid of any committment sometimes, Give him a bit of a cold shoulder.. just a bit ,,see if he figures out your too good to let go of. Long distance can be really hard too.. tried that and it didnt work,, If hes a keeper you will know soon enough,,Im sorry Hun,, tomorrow is another day.. heads up .. dont want to miss the right man..

[sarah miller]

well,

I was wrong!! My wonderful dream man dumped me it appears. Long distance situation. He had been here 4 times since August and I had been up to visit him.We hit it off and it was like magic He told me that each time he was here. He left right before Christmas and we have barely had contact He said that it doesn't seem real. He has a great time here and it is amazing and then he goes home to the job, kid etc. He won't let me go but won't give me any closeure. Never expected this!! Heartbroken and still in shock. The holidays were like a blur!

[Penny]

Im happy for you Sarah. Its very hard finding a good man. we have all waded through the muck..lol. M neighbor is seeing a married man.. I told her stay away, but she didnt, and last nite who was knocking on her door? Yes the wife.. I hope she dumps him.. I would really try to not date a married man even if he was Gorgeous.( i say that now ) . But good for you finding a gem..Oh and alcoholics are the worst. Wont be with one ,,had alcoholic parents.. and yes time will tell.. i wish you the best Honey.. Penny

[Barbara Siragusa]

You and I have a few things in common then!! I was married to my first husband for 17 years, divorced and married the first man who came along to "rescue" me. Finally divorced him after a lot of inner turmoil and out on my own, new home, freedom, first time in over 25 years I was single and emotionally charged!! I thought I would never find a man I could trust or love again. But, through a dating service that I thought would pass my time if nothing else, I met Sam, fell in love, and we have been married over a year. I think I jumped into this relationship a little too fast, but he is a wonderful man and I am glad we are together. I claim to be smarter now, but only time will tell!!!