Cheater or misunderstood?

[Fiona]

hi all, my husband and i had a very good relationship as far as i know, no fights, no arguments, no violence, many happy times together... had a marriage of 4 years and decided together it was ok for me to travel far away to visit my fam. he wouldn't call often when i was there and near the time i was due to go back said he wanted to move with me to my country and have a life there together for about 1 year... so i didn't go back thinking he'd come to me instead, was very excited. Months passed by and he said he wasn't sure about anything anymore (he said that when i asked him if he still loved me). Nothing really got solved as he hardly ever called me and had no time for long calls. Then said he needed to go to some far,far away place to de-stress himself n think things through... I'd waited around 4 months until i said i could wait no longer and things got be solved at once... but still he wud just avoid me and said i shud try to understand... now it's been 8 months altogether, since we're apart from each other and i'm stuck in my country cos of visa matters, and he still wudn't come to me. He hasn't given me an explanation and said he hasnt cheated or is in a relationship, avoids me big time though and doesnt call me anymore... what the hell is going on? What can u make out of all this? thanks:)

[Helen]

Dear Fiona! I cant even imagine what is on his mind. But his actions are terrible! If he wanted to break up or divorce - he could explain you that. Maybe there are some facts that make him act like that? Maybe he has some problems and he don't want you to know about that?
I have no other ideas... But I'm really sorry that you need to go through this...

[Silis Beauty Fanatic]

Hi Fiona Im Sili anyways I can't believe he's doing that to you. You must be going through so much right now and I'm very sorry. Anyways from what you have explain, he's definitely cheating I mean he just doesn't have the courage to come up to you and let you know. That is so pathetic of man these days. But you should try and contact him and let him know that you need an answer. You have the right to get a respond from him. And I think you deserve so much better than that.

[Fiona]

Yeh Silis I have tried thousands of times to get him to talk, on the phone and via email... but he won't say a word about it... so I'll just give him more space, I've done nothing wrong I believe and I'll just try to carry on with my life as it is cos one day he'll have to talk. All that's left for me is to be positive and give him the benefit of the doubt til we get to meet and sort things out.

[GlamourGirl]

I appreciate your positive outlook on life. Im sure youll get things sorted out soon. Be patient and he will find his way.

[GlamourGirl]

Hi Fiona. Im really sorry about what is happening. Distance is always a great factor when it comes to relationships. You tried youre best to communicate and he wouldnt even cooperate. That's really hard. Just communicate with him often and try your best to have him open up. Men are really weird.

[Fiona]

Yeah I know and feel I've tried my best, and can't do more if he's not opening up and even avoiding me, distance is very convenient for him right now though... Once my visa gets sorted out I'll go back to England and get him to give a very good explanation, but think that no reason can be enough to take away the pain.

[Natasha]

Hi Fiona, I am sorry that you are going through this tough time in your life. No one knows what he's thinking, however, I think many people will agree with me that he is not being fair to you. This is not the way a husband behaves. He should just tell you where you stand in his life. At least, he owes you that. My dear, you are being very strong. Continue to keep your chin up and live your live, make it happy with or without him. Maybe he needs more time (although I will think that 8 months is more than enough time) so give him whatever time and space. Meanwhile, I admire your strength and courage during this time.

[Fiona]

Hi Natasha, thanx so much for your words, they're very encouraging. Yes I do try to be strong and keep my chin up and don't let negative feelings poison my mind... Like you said, I'm giving him all the time he needs, and even when I go back I'll let him know I'm there in case he wants to talk... but you're also right when you say he owes me an explanation. I cannot do more than wait cos I still love him, and frankly I don't think he's capable of cheating... I try to give him the benefit of doubt until the day comes and he has to face up to me.

[Fashionista]

Hi Fiona! I am very sorry about the whole situation... It looks like there is something he does not want to tell you... It might be not cheating but something else, something that really drives him away from you... Probably you should do what he asked you to do - give him some space for a while, so that he could have some time to get back to his sense. The real question is: do YOU love him? If yes, than it's woth fighting for, if not... or if you doubt that, then maybe it's a good time to start a new life... Anyway, if he says it's not cheating, it might be not... It may be some family matter or maybe someone is plotting against you...

[Fiona]

Hi Fashionista, thanx for your comments... yeah sometimes I do think there might be someone or something plotting against me to be honest... Yes I still do love him very much though, that's why I keep trying to understand the situation and try to make sense of all this. I do plan to give him more time though I'm not happy about it, meanwhile I try to focus on myself and my sister and her babies, they're all nice to me and I want to treasure every moment... and leave the pain and tears for later when they're not around. Something within me tells me the man I fell in love with is not capable of cheating on me, so I try to stick to that and give him space...

[Fashionista]

Hi Fiona :) I am glad you have a great family who helps you forget about the situation. Do you have any friends back there who can clarify things (maybe in a secret way)? Or at least somehow check on your husband... to see how he is if he is sad etc.... I was thinking, maybe he has friends who do not like you or family members who were not happy with you.... And they could make up stuff about you to make him forget you. He might have found something in your things that could lead him to false conclusions... He might have thought you were cheating on him or something - an old notebook or letters, or diary - anything?

[Fashionista]

It's like in crime - in order to figure out who is behind it all, you need first find an answer to the question: Who profits from this situation?